A weekend for my thoughts.

Hey Gang,

So I feel like the best word for this week will be called Stationary. I was just as active as I have been in the past and then this weekend my thoughts got the best of me and got me down to where I didn't really want to do much of anything. I know that I wont be at the top of my game everyday. And So I had a 2 day funk. No big deal. Just cant stay in the funk for too long!!!

Yesterday more than any other day in the past 7 weeks now of sobriety I really just wanted a drink. I was at home, just looking at this bottle of wine on our countertop in the kitchen. In my mind I wanted to open it and just drink the whole damn thing. This was a big mental game for me...the way I wanted to just drink that bottle made me to believe that I might have an issue with drinking. I know I don't but I am definitely in a hump where now lasting for an entire year seems to be harder than originally planned. BUT the point of this story is that I stayed strong and am still 7 weeks sober!!

Things to look forward this week is starting back up with my old trainer Darius for 33 sessions of what I hope will transform me to levels ive only dreamed of being at fitness wise. Staying focused is going to be my biggest downfall. And also when I have my "down" days that I need to NOT turn to food to satisfy my depression...it will not solve anything more than just hurting my progress. I hate that I turn to food so easily in my times of depression. Not sure of how to change that part of the brain!!!

I mentioned last week that I was going to make this blog/journey more interactive for my Fans, Admirers, Readers, whomever you want to call yourselves!!! If you look to the right of this blog there are 2 polls posted. I want you to help me do something different for the next 2 weeks. I will leave the voting open until Friday and will start on Friday with whatever my fans deem the best choice per poll!!!

The love and support I have gotten from everyone has helped tremendously. I never set out to be any sort of inspiration or anything like that. I was just doing this for me and this blog is something that should hopefully just hold me accountable for my actions. It makes my heart smile when people tell me the admire my determination and will to stick this out and that my friends wont let me break...even at my weakest moments. This journey is definitely one for the books. An amazing chapter in the life of Kent.

I have scheduled a doctors appointment on my 3 month anniversary of being sober. which is just a little bit more than a month away. I wont to impress my doctor when I see him. He knows about me wanting to do this, as we talked about it the last time I saw him. But I started this after that. So to go in 20+ lbs lighter than the last time he saw me will be amazing...so theres another goal!!!

That's all for this week...thanks to all for the love and support I get every week...

PS Kelly Clarkson is having a Xmas CD this year...today is a good day!!!