A weekend for my thoughts.

Hey Gang,

So I feel like the best word for this week will be called Stationary. I was just as active as I have been in the past and then this weekend my thoughts got the best of me and got me down to where I didn't really want to do much of anything. I know that I wont be at the top of my game everyday. And So I had a 2 day funk. No big deal. Just cant stay in the funk for too long!!!

Yesterday more than any other day in the past 7 weeks now of sobriety I really just wanted a drink. I was at home, just looking at this bottle of wine on our countertop in the kitchen. In my mind I wanted to open it and just drink the whole damn thing. This was a big mental game for me...the way I wanted to just drink that bottle made me to believe that I might have an issue with drinking. I know I don't but I am definitely in a hump where now lasting for an entire year seems to be harder than originally planned. BUT the point of this story is that I stayed strong and am still 7 weeks sober!!

Things to look forward this week is starting back up with my old trainer Darius for 33 sessions of what I hope will transform me to levels ive only dreamed of being at fitness wise. Staying focused is going to be my biggest downfall. And also when I have my "down" days that I need to NOT turn to food to satisfy my depression...it will not solve anything more than just hurting my progress. I hate that I turn to food so easily in my times of depression. Not sure of how to change that part of the brain!!!

I mentioned last week that I was going to make this blog/journey more interactive for my Fans, Admirers, Readers, whomever you want to call yourselves!!! If you look to the right of this blog there are 2 polls posted. I want you to help me do something different for the next 2 weeks. I will leave the voting open until Friday and will start on Friday with whatever my fans deem the best choice per poll!!!

The love and support I have gotten from everyone has helped tremendously. I never set out to be any sort of inspiration or anything like that. I was just doing this for me and this blog is something that should hopefully just hold me accountable for my actions. It makes my heart smile when people tell me the admire my determination and will to stick this out and that my friends wont let me break...even at my weakest moments. This journey is definitely one for the books. An amazing chapter in the life of Kent.

I have scheduled a doctors appointment on my 3 month anniversary of being sober. which is just a little bit more than a month away. I wont to impress my doctor when I see him. He knows about me wanting to do this, as we talked about it the last time I saw him. But I started this after that. So to go in 20+ lbs lighter than the last time he saw me will be amazing...so theres another goal!!!

That's all for this week...thanks to all for the love and support I get every week...

PS Kelly Clarkson is having a Xmas CD this year...today is a good day!!!

15 lbs gone...6 weeks down!!!

Hey Guys,

So this is the update for weeks 5 and 6. I was in Texas for most of week 5 so it made it hard to get in an update!!!

I will say that I am officially 16lbs down now!!! and it feels amazin!!! I look amazing!!! its just all so surreal. Seeing the results for the efforts you put in has been what is keeping me on my journey.

So what is new with me?? Well last week in Texas my cousin got married!!!

The wedding was so simple but soooo beautiful! First of all she looked amazing!! So happy for you Lindsey! Cant wait to come visit you in December!!! I got to be with most of my family while I was home! so that made the trip worth it! I definitely had some fun with the food there. I had me some blue bell ice cream...I couldn't resist...it was amazing!!!

It was hard being at the wedding and not drinking. But the absence of my drinking was taken care of by my favorite Aunt...Linda...she was feeling good at that reception. She never wanted to leave the dance floor...and of course I was right behind her!!

After coming  back from Texas last week it was back to the grind! I was going back and forth with whether or not I wanted to get more sessions with a Personal Trainer or not. But I realized if I bought a package of 33 sessions that would put me at 2 sessions a week until its time to go home for Christmas. I have decided to go back to my original trainer that I met a few years back. He really helped jumpstart me in so many ways. For sooooo long I wanted to be a skinny guy...I hated the body I was in and was just so unhappy. I lost 60 or so lbs first before starting training with him. Once with Darius I started beefing up and gaining muscle and getting stronger. Because of him I really finally just appreciated my body for what it was!!! and I just want to keep improving! So im excited to get back with him and see what we can get accomplished these next 4 months!!!

I reached my first goal of losing 10 lbs before my trip home. Im now at 16 lbs lost. 252 to now 236. I cant wait to get back into the 220s. 224 was my lowest ever recorded weight. Cant wait to get under that!

So my next goal is just to push myself these next 4 months. I have paid the money for the trainer...so now I need to be 125% focused on the other aspects...diet mainly!!! My next goal to reach by mid September is to be back in the 220s. I know I can do it. I just gotta be focused and really have to step up my diet side. I got the gym side now I gotta just combine the 2...

Ok enough about that. What else is going on with me? Well me and a bunch of friends have started playing volleyball on Sundays. This was the 3rd week we did it and my 2nd time in going. Its just sooo much fun!!! And everyone that goes are good peeps and always come out with more friends!!! And you know me. I love making friends!!!

After volley ball was drinks at a bar. I am still in this for the long run and am now 6 weeks sober!!! its so awesome to say that!!! It was hard this time. just sitting around hanging with about 10+ gays who a drinking away...me the only one not drinking...but I stayed strong!!! Im in this for the long haul. The fact that I have lost 16lbs is motivation enough to not drink!

 

 

 



Sorry for the long blog this week guys! Making up for last week.

To sum things up. Things are looking good for Kent. Im doing well Im happy. I have 4 months till I go home for Xmas and I want to shock them all...so lets do this!!!

Love you all! Thanks again for all the continued love and support!!!

~Kent